(Reference Guide for the Immigrant, Emigrant, and Sundry Kidnapped Refugee Classes)

A cookie is a biscuit. A drink is lemonade.
Jelly is jam. Ice cream is a cornet or a lolly.

A store is a shop. Food is a nosh up. Food is tuck.
You can also tuck somebody up, Cor Blimey.

A coin is a tanner. A coin is a thrup’ney.
Rich money is bob and quid. Police are bobbies. And Bob’s your uncle.

A road is a motorway. A truck is a lorry. Gas is petrol.
Pants are trousers. Garbage is rubbish.

Gratitude is Ta. Teasing is taking the mickey.
Adults are right dodgy. And donkeys have years.

A diaper is a nappy. A stroller is a pram.
A mother of a mother is a nanny. An apartment is a flat.

Four in the afternoon is a crumpet and tea. Sleep is kip.
Sleep is knackered and cream crackered.

Apples and pears are stairs. A watch is a kettle and hob.
A person is rung up or knocked up.

A couch is a settee to kip on when you’re skint.
A closet is a cupboard. And a flashlight is a torch.

A wrench is a spanner. A meadow is a park.
A school is a uniform you wear each day. A friend is a mate or china.

Going to see a man about a dog is none of your business.
Punishment is the stocks on the village green.

A frog and toad leads to a row house
where I am not I and I can’t explain—

where my words become dickey birds
and I become the little boy who lives down the lane.